Well, folks, I’m overloaded.  Again.  I have a sickness.  It’s official.  But God is teaching me so much through Experiencing God!  And I want to tell you all about it.  But for now I will just have to share a journal entry.

I give you the exact words of a barely awake Mama…

You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all of your heart.


It’s 5:30 am.  5:30 am!  And I’m awake because I had to pee – and then God asked me to get up and spend tiem with Him – brought to mind Ms. P31 and all her up before anyone else glory.  I mentally argued for the length of my potty break but in the end His logic was be3tter – is one more hour of sleep actually going to matter?  And for that matter, don’t you know I’m better at sustaining you than sleep?!  So, I made the decision, felt around the blinding darkness for my glasses, and then – 


You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all of your heart.


Loud and clear as a bell ringing into the muddled mess of my morning brain.


[Enter my almost two year old at 5:45 am]


Lord,  


I obeyed.  I got up and fixed my coffee and Adelle woke up to join me.  I’m trusting that you will honor my obedience and true desire to have some quiet alone time with you rather than the having of ACTUAL alone time.  The deepest desire of my heart is to obey you, Lord.  And as a wife and a mama I want to honor you in the everyday.  I never thought staying at home would feel so much like not contributing.  Please help me to sense the value of my work.  And help me find ways to take care of our home thriftily, Lord, fill me with your wisdom as I discipline and parent…wisdom beyond my own – like Solomon – so that there is no question of your work through me.  Fill me with affectionate respect for Josh – like Sarah – so that others will see you through our marriage.


Father, I cannot understand your ways.  I truly don’t know where you are leading me or our family, but I do know that I trust you and where you lead, I will follow!  You are faithful.  And kind.  And true.  Oh how I need you!  You are the calmer of the universe, my world, and my soul!  Please come in and order my thoughts so that I can think clearly enough to hear our next task and then do it.


This is my true life prayer.  I cannot begin to tell you the frustration that mounted with every slap of tiny feet on the hard floor coming toward me.  It took a lot for me not to turn her around and throw her in bed with her Daddy.

And now I have to run out the door.  Again.  I miss y’all!  I’ll be back soon.  Yes, I will.

Love y’all like crazy!