I spent the weekend reflecting on who I might have been if Jesus hadn’t rescued me. Well, that and sewing and eating crawfish and visiting with friends. But in the middle of it all, there was the reflecting on my own depravity. I find that this is a good exercise for myself now and again – lest I begin to overestimate my own awesomeness apart from Jesus. Hear me when I say that this is not about guilt or condemnation. I don’t do it so that I will remember how rotten I am. I do it to remember how sweet and wonderful Jesus is.
A boozer and a floozy. That’s what I would have been at some point in my life were it not for Jesus. And maybe a bit of a liar – because I wouldn’t have wanted to know the depth of my screw-ups. I would have felt guilty all the time – forever and ever, amen. I would have been a woman living under insurmountable regret. I would not have known this freedom, this grace, this (most of the time) life without condemnation.
Perfect Jesus came down and lived a perfect life. He loved and healed and invited others to follow Him. Then they killed him. The beat him and mocked him and he, for the first time ever, endured an apartness from His Father. He paid the price for all of my great sin.
He was raised to life. He was made new. Unrecognizeable even. He walked and smiled and loved – fully alive.
This is the hope that lifts my soul and sets me free. My Jesus – alive. Free from death and all things that lead to it. This is the gift he hands to me in this life. To live full and whole and new today – this side of heaven! It’s not just the regret I am thankful to live without – it’s the joy I’m allowed to live in today because He is alive.
He is alive. He makes me new. Unrecognizeable even. He frees me to walk and smile and love – fully alive. And He walks it all with me step for step.
Oh, how I really do love Jesus.