Back in February, I wrote a post called, On Falling Back in Love with Mothering, over at Mothers of Daughters. In it, I addressed the fact that somewhere along the way, mothering had become more of a chore than a gift – that I had allowed it to become so, and that I didn’t feel okay about that. So, I offered some tips to myself and to you, my reader friends, on making the choice to see the wonder in mothering. I then began to use the hashtag #fallingbackinlovewithmothering on my social media pages in an effort to point to and document the gift of mothering.
I want to be sure that you understand where I’m coming from – that I am accurately representing the thought behind the post and the hashtag:
- I believe in what I wrote. I believe that it needs to be said out loud because some mama – probably a lot of mamas – are struggling with choosing joy in mothering, and it is slipping away without them even realizing it. If we cannot express our struggles out loud, regardless of how different or even how much better they are in comparison to others struggles, then how can we grow? How can we experience community? How can we tend to each others’ needs? Now, to be fair, expressing struggles is different than complaining, and I am the number one offender in the latter category. We should allow others struggles to breed in us a sense of gratitude for what we have and compassion for what they do not. We should ask God regularly to show us how we can be better listeners, kinder companions, and more honest lovers of souls. We should do those things, but we cannot fall prey to the belief that if our problems aren’t as bad as our neighbors, then God doesn’t want to hear about them, and neither does anyone else. There is a fine line – and the only way to walk on the godly side of it is to submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit all the day every day. That being said, if anything I wrote came across as inconsiderate or hurtful, I apologize sincerely. My heart is for hurting mamas and women – all of you – please know that if I was hurtful, it was by accident.
- I want to be clear that this issue of not enjoying mothering is about us, about our own hearts – those of us who struggle with this particular battle, and it’s not okay. It’s a form of ingratitude and discontent. We have to do something about it, and there’s not much we can do apart from Jesus. I have spent the better part of the last few months making choices, weeding out extras, and petitioning God to change my heart. And do you know what? It’s working – He is working in me. I am experiencing so much more gratitude in mothering – in spite of, because of all the chaos that goes along with it. I am delighting in my children again. God is restoring that for me, and I am amazed at His goodness.
I write it in part to clarify myself and in part to tell you that beginning June 1, I’ll be writing a series in line with this topic. I’ll be telling you all about how and what God is teaching me about falling back in love with mothering. I would love to hear your thoughts as I write, to know what you struggle with and how you are working to let God make you more whole in every part of your life!
Love y’all like crazy!
I've been reading a daily chapter from "triggers" and am finally seeing how my quick responses and thoughtless frustrations are not only stealing my joy in being a mom but make me an angry yelling mom – someone I never intended to be ! Tuning in to your topic and grateful for this journey the Lord takes through , even when it's hard ! Thanks for being transparent 🙂 Love ya friend !
I've been reading a daily chapter from "triggers" and am finally seeing how my quick responses and thoughtless frustrations are not only stealing my joy in being a mom but make me an angry yelling mom – someone I never intended to be ! Tuning in to your topic and grateful for this journey the Lord takes through , even when it's hard ! Thanks for being transparent 🙂 Love ya friend !
I love this! So, so true.
Very well and thoughtfully written. Looking forward to more.